WHEN TO SEND A HARSH EMAIL OR MESSAGE

There are 2 occasions when you should never write a harsh email or message.

There are 2 occasions when you should never write a harsh email or message.

One is today. The second is tomorrow.

Harsh emails or messages are punctuated with signs like “!!!” or “???” or type in urgent in “red”.

Harsh emails make the reader feel insulted and upset. And they cannot do much about it. except to write back another harsh email.

Harsh emails waste time. They don’t resolve things. Email trails with 100+ people copied can keep going up and down with no conclusion.

Harsh emails are stored in email servers for a long time. They remain in the memory of the receiver even longer.

Harsh emails may force action but leave a deep sense of resentment.

Harsh emails use words like “ ridiculous”, “unacceptable” etc etc. 

Harsh emails feel like a slap. In public.

Rude messages on whats app groups, esp with work colleagues can leave the receiver feeling humiliated.

How often do we do this ? how often do we receive this ?

There are moments when one feels “angry” or “unheard”. 

In those moments you can be tempted to type out a long harsh email.

Even if you do, pause and save it in the sent items. Walk around, breathe and read again.

Then delete all harsh language and words before you send your email.

As a line manager or super boss a harsh email can feel like a hammer thrown at you. Hence you have an extra responsibility to choose the right written words to make your point.

Consider the following language to be “assertive” and “clear”

  • Seeking your support to meet the customer requirements
  • Lets connect and talk on how to accomplish this
  • Project is delayed and lets work on how we can fix the delivery time together
  • Can I help you in anyway to accomplish your goal

Language which is not ok in emails is

  • “!!!”
  • “???”
  • “ridiculous”
  • “friendly reminder”
  • “not sure if my last email was received”
  • “thanks in advance”

Remember there are 2 days when you will not send a harsh email or message. One is today. The other is tomorrow.

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