The word critic comes from the Greek root of “krites” which means a person who can offer good judgement, sound reason and analysis and provide feedback to us.

It means every time we meet a “krites” we should be getting great feedback, coaching and support. However in the modern world everyone runs away from any critics or criticism. Notice how one negative comment against something we post on social media evokes a firestorm response from us and our friends. See how criticism at work leads to everyone being defensive immediately and ignoring the points being made.

To progress as leaders and human beings we need to reflect and improve  our values, habits and behaviours. Often we cannot see our bad habits as these become blind spots – things that are obvious to others but we have no idea about them. 

To overcome this try setting up a critic party. 

This is a party you are organizing for yourself to welcome critics who can come and give you critical feedback on things you need to improve. Here is how it will work

  • Pick a nice location and time where you can throw the party. It can be outside or in your home. Make sure you have good food, wine and snacks so that the guests feel welcome
  • Select between  3 and 6 guests who know you well and interact with you often – your boss, work colleagues, spouse, children, friends, parents all are welcome
  • Now take a few sheets of paper and make them into playing card size cut outs and on each of these write some key words where you want critical feedback. Some ideas you can write down are – work, meetings, punctual, health, fun, listening, mindfulness, compassion, hardwork, intelligence, honesty, judgement, micromanagement, crazy, stupid. You can keep adding to this list
  • Get 10-15 small gifts ready for the guests. These can be anything inexpensive – soft toys, gift cards, bottle openers, pens or anything else you want to give. You can make as much effort as you like

Now here is how the game will work – you ask in each round one person to pull one card, say the word aloud and then everyone go for it. They will give you their critical feedback on that subject about you. The person who you feel has given you most honest and valuable feedback wins a prize !! Then go to the next round and so on.

This game will allow in a fun and safe environment for you to hear what you really need to know about yourself. All your blind spots will come under the light of reason and you will be able to take steps to improve yourself in that area.

It will take courage to set up a critics party ! It will be fun and rewarding for you I promise.

Just don’t beat up your guests 😊

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