How many of you know a toxic leader ? Someone who is usually harsh or critical to most ideas and in most meetings. Someone who always has the tendency to add value to every idea irrespective of whether it is merited or not.
Quite likely the answer is yes. Often we may be this person as well from time to time. The reason is easy – its very easy to allow our ego to see ourselves as superior to others and hence encourage us to correct others, interrupt others and critique others.
We also know from research that criticism seldom works to change behaviour. It usually cements the existing behaviour, creates defensive thinking and prevents progress as a team.
One golden rule we can follow which can prevent us from falling into this trap is
Be Positive or be quiet.
Vow solemnly that from now onwards whenever you speak it will be to be positive, to be constructive, to help others succeed and to progress the conversation to a better conclusion.
Some of the things youcan say
How about we try..
Have you considered..
A good idea from another project is…
I really like… it can be even better if…
This is a lot of effort you have put it in…well done
The analysis done is very robust
What are the risks in this approach…and how can we mitigate them…
The things you will not say
This is terrible
I hate it
It wont work
Drop it
Stop talking
Bad idea
If this sounds difficult how about your practice it for a week. If a week sounds too much how about for a day. How about for just 1 meeting.
Be Positive or Be Quiet. The new mantra for transforming teams and people to be at their best.